At night and on the weekends, I’ve been slowly chipping away at this film. It’s my first time editing something feature-length, and even though there are probably better ways to go about it, I’m attacking it the same way as a short: one scene at a time. Right after we wrapped back in October, I dove in and got my way through the first 20 minutes or so. Then Sundance happened – I was so busy working on the videos for that, that the film was pretty much completely pushed aside for a period of three months or so.
That period of time away from the film was pretty amazing, because the videos I was working on for Sundance were all about filmmakers who had just finished working on their own films. During that time, we made over 80 videos or so, many of them comprised of simple interviews with all the directors at the festival. I was fortunate enough to even conduct some of those interviews myself. (I won’t go into too much detail, but one day I was very suddenly and unpreparedly thrust into interviewing Soderbergh; to say that narrowing down many imagined afternoons worth of questions down to 5 minutes was nerve wracking would be an understatement)
One of these series’ of videos I took on the editorial duties. It was intense, simply because there was so little time to crank them out – this was prior to the festival, editing from my childhood bedroom in rural Massachusetts during xmas. It was a boot camp of sorts – when taking a 20-30 minute interview and cutting it down to 3 minutes, there are really unique challenges. Some of the filmmakers, while super smart, were not the most articulate. Some of them hadn’t even finished their films yet and were still in the process of really learning how to talk about their films (which is a really good skill to develop). So I’d have to really get in there and do some sentence surgery to allow the filmmakers to say their point in a way that was simply shorter without being too overtly manipulative.
At three minutes, after the filmmaker gives a synopsis about the film, there was only a little bit of room left for two or three pieces of anecdotal information. Deciding what to leave out was the hardest decision, but ultimately had to be made fast. This was another challenge.
During the actual festival, my team and I were producing two clips or more per day about various aspects of the festival. It was a brutal schedule, but awesome to run into some of my friends from overseas from past Directors Labs who now had films at the festival. They were sharing their stories about how their films came to be, and in this moment, while I was working the hardest I’ve probably worked in my entire life, I seriously could not wait to get back into working on my own film. The physical exhaustion from the experience could not trump the extreme inspiration by sitting down with so many filmmakers and watching them finally bring their films to an audience.
So starting in February, I picked it right back up and started chipping away at it. Bit by bit. I kept everything in – even if it didn’t feel right, I left in pretty much every single line from the script, every single scene. I figured the best thing, at this early of a stage, was to just put my trust in the script. And in a weird way, the film started dictating what it wanted to be. After getting all the way through, scene by scene, to the end… I went back in and started making those obvious trims – again going scene by scene.
As I was going through, all the things I learned from making the videos for the festival started creeping in, except in this case – scenes that were long and inarticulate, they became more and more precise. And I felt like I had the tools to be able to do this. The 2 hours and 20 minutes of scenes quickly whittled it’s way down to a 1 hour 43 minute rough cut of a movie. A movie that still, of course, needs a lot of work.
But it’s getting there. I watched the film for the first time all the way through last Thursday morning, and it was a complex emotional experience. First of all, 5 minutes into the movie, I realized that I will never ever be able to see this film as if I was watching it for the first time. Simply put: I know what is going to happen. And at that moment, I thought there were going to be zero surprises for me.
After the cut ended, and it was very clear what parts of the film worked, and what parts of the film still need work… I took a walk around my neighborhood. It was on this walk that the film surprised me.
We went into making this film knowing it was going to be a long-term process, and understanding that we needed to make it personal to us in order to maintain the passion to see it through over several years. And so we simply attempted to make a film about our own relationships both as friends and lovers.
On my walk, when thinking about not only the film, but the road it took to make the film, some themes that are in the movie revealed themselves to me in a way that felt like someone else had made it. Specifically, I started thinking about how as we get older, our friendships to one another change. Friends go away. We lose them to other relationships, we lose them to disease, we lose them to distance. And we cannot rely on friends to fix our own problems. They can help but only to a certain degree.
And even more tangibly speaking, I thought about how people with a really strong sense of self, these are people I admire, and these are people that are able to get through life in a way that’s meaningful. Like knowing ourselves incredibly well is what keeps us confident and rational. And back to the subject of friendship – I now think the way one’s sense of self is shaped is through the strength of past friendships. Very simply – our friends shape who we are. Our sense of self is comprised of the sum total of the bits and pieces of intimate relationships we have had up to this point. That is how we can define who we are. And in essence, all our friends that move away, or that we lose to alcoholism, etc… these people don’t go away. These people are indeed a part of you. And in that sense, can help solve problems when absent.
Perhaps this is just my own personal relationship to this particular story, but with all the short films I’ve made, I’ve never had a film talk back in this way. In fact, up until this week, I can’t say I was discouraged by film, but I always thought it to be one of the more inherently frustrating art forms. That it’s a one-way conversation, muddled by all the practical compromises that get in the way of making it. I remember David Fincher once said that if you get 20% of your original intention when making a film, that you can call it a success.
I now disagree with that, or rather, think there’s far more to it. As of right now, I’m of the mindset that if you have a clear and personal intention going in, and you shepherd it with care and with awesome people, there can absolutely still be a sense of discovery, even in your own work. And I feel so fortunate to be having this creative experience.
The editing continues and the discovery continues. We’re sanding down the jagged edges, and figuring out what holes need to be filled with our reshoots next month. There is still a very long road ahead, but it feels good to be slowly making our way up it.
mike